he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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