He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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