Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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