fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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