i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
