She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
vagina is talking i cant
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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