the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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