you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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