do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
