Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
