I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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