There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
