Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
