Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
