I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
