12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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