Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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