You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
should my penis look like a turkey
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
