I wish life had little blips of pornography
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
