I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
