i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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