I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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