Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
