You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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