Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
