sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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