youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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