Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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