After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
