did you get engaged???
someone threw a dead crab at me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
