I just pynch a tree in the face
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
