This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
