I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
