Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize