Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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