but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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