My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize