tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It was confusing and full of hummus
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Congratulations! We have a period
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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