Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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