she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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