I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
