so explain again why im purple
no
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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