it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
