$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
