garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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