I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
