when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
