shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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