ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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