saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
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