i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
