I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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