Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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