I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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