He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you win again, gameday.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize