We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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