I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
