i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
