I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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