my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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