2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
