Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
