Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
